MrBugs
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  • 12/15/19 3 more jokes for you today

    What do you call Santa on a break?
    Santa-pause.

    What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling?
    Mistletoad.

    What do you get when you deep fry Santa?
    Crisp Cringle.
    generalgila
    generalgila
    yooooooo haha deud superb jokes here gave me a very solid laugh in real life thanks for it!!!!
    12/14/19 This is the 19th day in a row I’ve done jokes lol, crazy I’ve got 3 jokes for you today.

    How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
    Nurse them back to elf.

    What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
    Anything you want. He can’t hear you!

    What nationality is Santa Claus?
    North Polish.
    12/13/19 Today is Day 1 of my performances so I only have two jokes for you today.

    What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?
    A lost clause.

    How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
    He felt his presents!
    12/12/19 (Part 2)

    What is a librarians favorite Christmas song? Silent Night

    What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? Holly Davidson.

    Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
    Because it 'soots' him!

    How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt!

    What do you call an old snowman?
    Water.

    How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing - it was on the house!
    12/12/19 On the twelfth day of Christmas, MrBugs gave to me, 12 jokes a tellin.

    What is a skunks favorite Christmas song? Jingle smells!

    What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck?
    A Christmas Quacker!

    What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
    It's Christmas, Eve!

    What never eats at Christmas dinner?
    The turkey – it’s stuffed.

    Where do you find chilli beans?
    At the north pole!
    12/11/19 I've got three more jokes for you today <3

    What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
    Claus-trophobia!

    What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
    He got 25 days!

    What do snowmen wear on their heads?
    Ice caps!
    12/10/19 I’ve got 3 more jokes for you today

    What is a snowmans favorite breakfast?
    Ice Crispies.

    Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
    Santa Jaws!

    Why does Santa have three gardens?
    So he can ho, ho, ho.
    12/9/19 I've got 3 jokes for you today <3

    What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar?
    Your days are numbered!

    What do angry mice send to each other in December?
    Cross mouse cards!

    What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
    “Can you smell carrots?”
    12/8/19 I've got 3 jokes for you today that will absolutely turn your "ho ho ho" into a "ha ha ha"

    What is the wettest kind of animal in Santa’s workshop?
    Rain-deer

    What do elves do after school?
    Their gnome work.

    What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
    A sad candy cane!
    12/7/19 I've got 3 jokes for you today!!

    How is Drake like an Elf?
    He spends all his time wrapping.

    Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in the hospital?
    He has private elf-care.

    What's the best thing to put on a Christmas Cake?
    Your teeth!
    12/6/19 I've got 4 jokes for you today to make up for missing one yesterday!

    How do Christmas angels greet each other?
    "Halo!”

    What’s St. Nicholas’s favorite measurement in the metric system?
    The Santameter!

    What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas?
    "‘Tis the season to be jelly!”

    What’s Jack Frost’s favorite part of the school day?
    Snow and tell.
    12/5/19 I've got 2 jokes for you today (sorry!)

    What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
    An abdominal snowman

    How does a snowman get to work?
    By icicle
    12/4/19 Ho-Ho-Ho, I got 3 more jo-jo-jokes!!

    Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!

    What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet.

    What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling? An elfcicle!
    12/3/19 It’s the season of giving, so I’m going to give you 3 more jokes :)) Enjoy

    Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
    He had very low elf esteem

    What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
    Wrap

    Where does Santa keep all his money?
    At the local snow bank!
    12/2/19 I've got 3 more Christmas Jokes for you!!! I promise these jokes will "SLEIGH" you!! (You get a fourth freebie <3)

    What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
    Saint-nickel-less.

    What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
    Frostbite.

    What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?
    Elfis.
    12/1/19 Since it’s the official beginning of the Christmas season, I’m gonna have Christmas Jokes for you ALL MONTH LONG!! I got 3 for you today!

    Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday? At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.

    What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May? A puddle!

    Did you know that Rudolph the Reindeer never went to school? He was elf taught.
    11/30/19 I got 2 new jokes for you today
    Q: Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?
    A: It’s much easier than walking

    Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
    A: A stick.
    11/29/19 I’ve got three jokes for you today
    How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

    What's a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
    The trom-bone.

    How do billboards talk?
    Sign language.
    Happy Thanksgiving (Americans) Since it’s Thanksgiving I have a FEW Thanksgiving Themed Jokes :))
    11/28/19
    What’s the best song to sing while preparing your Thanksgiving Turkey?
    All About That Baste!

    Why did the turkey play the drums in his band?
    Because he already had drum sticks!

    If April showers bring May flowers, what do
    May Flowers bring?
    Pilgrims!
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