First I want to preface this post by saying this: Thank you to everyone who has supported me or made my day better by having a conversation or even just saying hello. From the bottom of my heart I thank every single one of you. Now let's get on with the explanation ect.
Hey. As you can see from the title, I resigned from the ManaCube staff team. It was quite sporadic from the looks of it, but I have been thinking about this for quite some time. I attempted to resign not too long ago, maybe 2 weeks at most, however the support from the higher staff members kept me here for the short period I stayed. However after the past week or so, these thoughts will not leave my head and I decided it was time to say goodbye.
But, why? Well, it's a bit hard for me to say. I can explain why I think it is necessary for me to leave, so I will. If you have ever talked to me and gotten to know me just a bit, you will know I am quite an irresponsible teenager. I get in to trouble, I dropped school, and just recently, my car got towed. The reason I am so open about these things is because we have one life, and I believe that hiding things from people is what cowards do, and I will not pretend to be someone that I am not. I am and will always be responsible for my actions. Anyways, I started rambling. My car got towed, so I no longer have a ride to friend's houses, the store, or a job if I decided to get one. This completely changed my plans I had for this new year. I had decided to get myself a job and stop being on the computer so much. So, since my car got towed and I did not have the money to get it back, I sold them the title and let them do as they wish. I will not complain, I will not beg for money. However, now I need a car. I am now in the process of trying to sell either A) My computer; or B) The parts. I will then use this money, and some money I have saved up, and put a downpayment on a car I will [hopefully] be more responsible with.
Well, you said you had thought about this a lot, even before this whole car situation. What sparked those thoughts? This is the part that is hard for me to explain. Sometimes in life, you get certain emotions or feelings that seem as if they have no real reason to be felt, it just happens. I will wake up some mornings feeling like I do not belong here, or that I shouldn't be here anymore. I have really let myself go ever since these feelings began to occur. I told myself I would be a better me, not a new me, but a better me this year. But as 2017 came faster than ever, I found myself being even worse. Sleeping in more, spending too much time with my thoughts that obviously weren't healthy.
In this time period, I was talking to a few staff members. One in particular really helped me forget about everything. For a week straight we would just call and talk when I woke up, never having any plans on what to talk about, we just talked. And laughed. And smiled. And enjoyed ourselves. And before that, it was myself, this person, and another person. We got on quite well, and we even had a secret chat of our own where we just talked. It was nice to feel exclusive, loved. However, I fell out with one of these staff members quite unfortunately. I know you have read this, and I apologize for arguing with you, or doing anything you did not like. I am sorry for annoying you when I did so. I wish we would have continued talking as friends for the time I remained staff, but things do not always go as planned. And for the other staff member, the one that we talked just us, the one I snapchatted everyday, and the one I eventually grew upset with for no reason, I am sorry too. I am sorry for making you upset, or making you feel like you did something wrong. And I am sorry that I wasn't as good of a person as you thought I was.
Sorry that things got deep there. I got carried away in my feelings. Let me say this:
Thank you for making my experience as staff on ManaCube (and MineVast) so great. When I applied I had no idea I was getting myself into such a great experience and group of friends. I wish everyone the best of luck in anything they want to do in life, whether it be big or small, because support is what everyone needs to get off the ground.
Thank you.
. I still got the video by the way and when I got some time next week, I gonna upload it as a reminder and edit it in here. If you wanna talk you can also dm me on discord.. all day and all night and I will answer you asap