Help.

[SSM_GOD]

I don't know where to say this. I just need to get my thoughts out.

I'm not happy. I'm hating my college and my classes. I hate being alone. I hate having no where to go. I feel trapped. Stuck inside my room 24 hours a day waiting for something to happen so I can leave. Waiting for someone to say hi to me so I don't lose contact with myself and the world.
I am so stressed and furious with bring so behind and failing. I have lost all patience. I am stuck in this loop of anger. I don't remember the last time I smiled.
I gave someone all of me, never felt like someone cared for me before and they crushed my hopes. Blew away all my trust I could give anyone.
I just want to run away. I try to play this stupid game so I can forget my pain. But my frustration explodes when I see us failing to get along and do what I know we can. When we fail to give eachother what we should.
I try to talk to people who I know have their own struggles. I know with my caring for them they'll feel better and maybe I can save them. It just feels like it never comes back to me.
I'd rather myself suffer to know others are okay. But I just want a break.
It feels like I'm trying to eat, but my plate is empty because I gave you my food. But I still wont ask for a bite because I know you want it.

Sorry for my tears, but maybe you'll tember them as love.
Goodbye.

 

[bunnycraft]

I don't know where to say this. I just need to get my thoughts out.

I'm not happy. I'm hating my college and my classes. I hate being alone. I hate having no where to go. I feel trapped. Stuck inside my room 24 hours a day waiting for something to happen so I can leave. Waiting for someone to say hi to me so I don't lose contact with myself and the world.
I am so stressed and furious with bring so behind and failing. I have lost all patience. I am stuck in this loop of anger. I don't remember the last time I smiled.
I gave someone all of me, never felt like someone cared for me before and they crushed my hopes. Blew away all my trust I could give anyone.
I just want to run away. I try to play this stupid game so I can forget my pain. But my frustration explodes when I see us failing to get along and do what I know we can. When we fail to give eachother what we should.
I try to talk to people who I know have their own struggles. I know with my caring for them they'll feel better and maybe I can save them. It just feels like it never comes back to me.
I'd rather myself suffer to know others are okay. But I just want a break.
It feels like I'm trying to eat, but my plate is empty because I gave you my food. But I still wont ask for a bite because I know you want it.

Sorry for my tears, but maybe you'll tember them as love.
Goodbye.

Have you tried talking to friends? or something else that can keep you busy so you dont feel alone and other stuff.

 

[Cookie Kat]

Man, if you need to take a break, then do it!! You are an amazing friend, and you deserve a break. If you ever need someone to talk to, my DMs are open <3

 

[Acrellux]

I agree with cookie. If you want to take a break there shouldn't be anything holding you back from taking one. You are not the only person whose having trouble getting through the pandemic (me too) and if you feel ready to come back I'll be here to welcome you back. There is no pressure. This is a Block game.

<3

 

[xcy]

Went through a period of this recently, took a 2 week break from the forums and mana, didn't want my negativity to affect others. I'm not one to talk about this, as I'm not clinically depressed, not generally sad, I feel like a happy person, but everyone has their low points. My coping was just listening to Juice WRLD on repeat, going on long car drives, working on my car, doing the things I love. Don't necessarily even have to talk to friends if you don't want to, but judging how you were able to speak your mind on the forums, it might not be a bad idea. As far as I'm concerned, it's always going to get better, but it's if you have the energy to wait and see when it does. If you want to talk further, hit my dm on discord. Don't beat yourself up over it.