- Joined
- Oct 17, 2018
- Posts
- 1,775
- Ratings
I just wanted to make an update post. Recently I haven't felt as much of a connection to Manacube. I've realized the only reason I stayed around for so long was because of the wonderful people I've met here. Being permanently banned and permanently muted has made it difficult to make new friends- and many of my friends don't play anymore or we aren't close anymore. I've tried to maintain a positive attitude on the forums, but the truth is this past week has been really hard for me in real life.
All of us have been impacted by the pandemic in one way or another, COVID has only made my "social anxiety" worse. Not being around people very much aside from people I'm close to has made the transition back to in-person school difficult. I feel like I hardly know anyone, and I don't have any friends since most of them are gone.
In less than a month, I will be three years old on Manacube. Despite the many trials I have faced, and the enemies I have made I have no regrets about joining this community. It's been a VERY emotional rollercoaster, and I'm glad to have been part of this community even though most of the time I spent being banned and or muted. For the longest time, I've stuck by my philosophy of never giving up, and that I'd fight to get my punishments revoked no matter how long it took. But if there's one thing I've learned it's that the choices I made cannot be erased. Whether I am permanently muted or not, perm banned or not, those punishments will always exist. If they were to be lifted, if the staff were to give me "another chance" it wouldn't magically erase all the things I've done in the past.
I thought if I could just get unbanned and unmuted then things could go back to the way they were when I first joined Manacube. I have realized that it is time for me to move FORWARD, I cannot change the past and I guess that's what the staff and my friends have been trying to tell me all along. Holding onto all those old memories of "better times" and hoping for things to go back to the way they were is only hurting me, not helping me. I never want to forget all the amazing times I had on Manacube, the silly moments, the sad moments, the angry moments... all of it.
I will keep Manacube deep within my memories for as long as I live, but like I said trying to relive the past is simply unrealistic and only hindering me in the long run. In a few months, I will be turning eighteen. It's funny to think when I started here I was just a child, only fourteen years old. Even though some of you might still see me as a child, I will soon be an adult. I know how I have acted in the past was very much immature, and even though my word means nothing I do want to change and start acting more maturely.
All that being said, I will be taking a break from Manacube for the foreseeable future. I will still be on the forums, and those of you who have my discord can message me there as well. A few weeks ago, I applied to be added to a whitelisted server; one specifically created for autistic individuals and their families. Recently, my application was accepted so I will be playing there for now.
I hope that being surrounded by other autistic individuals will remind me of who I am and perhaps, one day I will be able to return and prove to everyone that I have changed for the better. I believe that this change is for the best, but this does not mean I am saying goodbye forever. Thank you all for the amazing memories that we made together <3
All of us have been impacted by the pandemic in one way or another, COVID has only made my "social anxiety" worse. Not being around people very much aside from people I'm close to has made the transition back to in-person school difficult. I feel like I hardly know anyone, and I don't have any friends since most of them are gone.
In less than a month, I will be three years old on Manacube. Despite the many trials I have faced, and the enemies I have made I have no regrets about joining this community. It's been a VERY emotional rollercoaster, and I'm glad to have been part of this community even though most of the time I spent being banned and or muted. For the longest time, I've stuck by my philosophy of never giving up, and that I'd fight to get my punishments revoked no matter how long it took. But if there's one thing I've learned it's that the choices I made cannot be erased. Whether I am permanently muted or not, perm banned or not, those punishments will always exist. If they were to be lifted, if the staff were to give me "another chance" it wouldn't magically erase all the things I've done in the past.
I thought if I could just get unbanned and unmuted then things could go back to the way they were when I first joined Manacube. I have realized that it is time for me to move FORWARD, I cannot change the past and I guess that's what the staff and my friends have been trying to tell me all along. Holding onto all those old memories of "better times" and hoping for things to go back to the way they were is only hurting me, not helping me. I never want to forget all the amazing times I had on Manacube, the silly moments, the sad moments, the angry moments... all of it.
I will keep Manacube deep within my memories for as long as I live, but like I said trying to relive the past is simply unrealistic and only hindering me in the long run. In a few months, I will be turning eighteen. It's funny to think when I started here I was just a child, only fourteen years old. Even though some of you might still see me as a child, I will soon be an adult. I know how I have acted in the past was very much immature, and even though my word means nothing I do want to change and start acting more maturely.
All that being said, I will be taking a break from Manacube for the foreseeable future. I will still be on the forums, and those of you who have my discord can message me there as well. A few weeks ago, I applied to be added to a whitelisted server; one specifically created for autistic individuals and their families. Recently, my application was accepted so I will be playing there for now.
I hope that being surrounded by other autistic individuals will remind me of who I am and perhaps, one day I will be able to return and prove to everyone that I have changed for the better. I believe that this change is for the best, but this does not mean I am saying goodbye forever. Thank you all for the amazing memories that we made together <3
