Rank-up Giveaway!

[rryl]

two windmills are standing in a field. one asks the other, "what kind of music do you like?'
the other one says, "im a big metal fan."

 

[rryl]

a boy asks his dad one day, "dad, why is my sister called paris?"

his dad replies, "because she was conceived in paris."

the boy says, "ahh thanks dad."

his dad says, "you're welcome, backseat."

 

[vroe]

*knocks you out with a calculator* bet you weren't counting on that

 

[speeder]

Heck yeah im Autistic!
A- My
U- Grandpa
T- Puts
I- His
S- Ween
T- Up
I- My
C- Butt

 

[rryl]

what do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who's run out of protein??
no whey jose

 

[Luci]

yeehaw and hello

 

[rryl]

police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
they charged one - and let the other one off

 

[rryl]

why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "bach bach bach"

 

[speeder]

Today, in math class, i had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted, loudly.

PING: 398ms

 

[rryl]

when you have a bladder infection, urine trouble

 

[rryl]

what do you call a fly with no wings?
a walk

 

[rryl]

how do you catch a bra? with a booby trap

 

[rryl]

ill never forget my grandpa's last words to me before he died.... "are you still holding the ladder?"

 

[vroe]

simple way to kill a mosquito
the mosquito thinks that the salt is sugar. when it eats the salt, it is going to get thirsty. thinking the white tequila is water, it will get drunk. it starts to walk away but trips over the stick and hits its head on a rock. finally it'll die from head injuries

 

[rryl]

The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding

 

[vroe]

bro 1: do you want to go around the world bro?
bro 2: yeah bro
bro 1: same bro
bro 1 goes around bro 2
bro 2: why did you go around me bro?
bro 1: because you are my world bro
bro 2: bro

 

[vroe]

bully: its ur word against mine
me: lets do it
bully: what
me: u selected the word "what". big mistake bro. i choose shenanigan

 

[speeder]

Me: Yo bro can you hand me that pamphlet?
Bro: Yea Bro
Me: Thanks bro
Bro: Brochure.

 

[vroe]

NASA: we want to probe deeper into Uranus than ever before.
me: well at least take me out to dinner first

 

[vroe]

mouthwash is just boneless toothpaste