This post is me saying goodbye to this forum. I have come to the realization that this is probably the best thing for me to do, and there are many reasons that I have come to this conclusion. I will list a few examples below. If making this thread gets me in trouble, fine, the only reason I am making it in the first place is to let the people that actually do care about me here why I am gone.
1: Biased Staff: I have been here for a year now. It seems to me that choosing who is staff and who is not is very messed up, I have absolutely no idea what kind of system it is because it does not make sense to me at all, the reason I say this is because I have applied three times over the course of this year that I have been around, The first time was accepted during just looking at logs and stuff it was denied, first time the reason was things about activit and knowledge. The only requirement I did not meet when I very first replied was the forum post count. However that did not mean I was not active on the forums and did not look at things and check things out. No, It simply meant usually someone else had posted a response that was needed already, so what good would it had been for me to make another post saying the same thing? And as far as the knowledge goes I know very much about the server due to experience and looking at the rules and guidelines, however if I did not know something, why is it a issue for me not knowing just a few things here and there. Is it not reasonable for me to just simply learn myself when that happens as staff so I can improve my help as staff? This made no sense to me.
2nd app: Same thing, even had all the forum posts this time, and had been doing everything that the tips the admin or whatever had given me in the first place, how can I do something that I am already doing? How does this make any sense?
3rd app: Same generic copy and post. I am active. I am mature. I have knowledge, but the one thing which was brought up by Aloro was that for the forum activity posts, games thread did not count towards this post and to him/her this showed lack of knowledge, but let me point out why this is completely wrong. In the rules and guidelines, it does not say ANYWHERE about what threads had to be responded to or not, it only told us the forum count we needed. How is this my fault exactly?
So, that is that reason, now here is another thing that I have noticed about the people who get staff. And I have seen this happened more than once. So ok, I am very active in the game, and people see me around every single day. Yet, I am denied for "activity" and then I have seen people come into olympus with a staff title, and I have never seen them before at all in my entire year of being here. Where the hell did they come from?
Second Reason: Unfair warning punishments. In my opinion the three warnings that I have are pretty unfair to be honest. First warning was done by slime. I was in a rough spot, yes, I was simply telling my friends about a situation that was going on, because my friends wanted to support me, and I was in no way harming anyone else by simply talking to my friends, how am I doing something wrong simply by speaking to my friends that support me? I was not harming anyone else at all, and if maybe someone did not like what they saw and lash out or whatever else, again, how is that my fault? I'm not forcing you to listen to, I am not speaking to you, so what is the issue? Why was I told to stop and then warned? Especially since this was on a day where we were having bot spam issues and the chat was very active and was almost impossible to keep up with everything said.
Second warning: _3g_ did this one. Me, myself, and bearhugs was just playing around. However those two got kind of vulgar, talking about well some certain things that I will not repeat with, however I messed along in a different way, I did not say a word that could be considered dirty unless someone has a dirty mine to begin with. Third: Hallowqueen did this one. The other day someone attacked me and asked if I felt good/better now that I got to hurt someone.. This bothered me greatly because I had done no such thing to anyone, and so I stood up for myself and asked them why they said that and how dare they, what gave them that right? Because I was very confused and wanting to know if I had done something that thought was wrong and I wanted to either explain myself or apologize if it came off the wrong way. Then another person called me a "special snowflake" simply for asking what was going on. So then I asked that person what was the need for that. Well Hallowqueen said to drop it. However I did not start anything at all. So isn't it more reasonable for them to be told to drop it when all I was doing was trying to find out why it happened because there was no reason, yet low and behold, I am the one warned. This is beyond unfair and madness.
Third reason: Glitches, and I mean very game breaking glitches. In season one, I lost about 4 sellwands due to a glitch where if you moved the item in your inventory somewhere else, or even placed it in a chest, it would disappear for absolutely no reason that I can figure out. It also happened to a few of my picks last season. At that point in time I was told that there was nothing that could be done about it. Now, season 2, this issue is STILL not resolved. I have lost 3 very high enchanted shovels. and three very valuable picks. One pick was replaced recently, only for just a bit earlier today to have the same damned glitch happen again out of the blue. This is a severe issue, and I doubt that the staff want to refund this again and "waste their time" and it is also exhausting to me to have to keep making tickets for this and staff having an entire year to figure out this issue and haven't.
Fourth reason: Things are becoming severely toxic. This week alone I have been attacked and targetted atleast five times with no reason behind. From someone calling me a retarded bitch, to shut up, simply for asking "what' when I misheard them or was wanting clarity. So I let them know that this is what causes me to feel suicidal and bad, and also let people know I had to just step out because I was crying, this was NOT attention seeking, this was my way of saying to the people that do care about me and hopefully to the attacker that might not realize the damage they are doing to please stop.
After that one of the persons friends said that the person was quitting/leaving, and I simply said "Good" and this was not in a violent or hateful manner, it simply meant they were being very damaging and it was for the best they not cause more upset. So their friend decides to tell me not to be celebrating because the person was going to kill themselves because of me.
Next: I had someone asked me if I felt better now that I had hurt someone else and this is also about the warning that I mentioned above, so simply read that to know what happeneed here.
Next: Earlier today I was talking to a friend about an IQ test I had, I was just sharing it with my friend because I thought it was interesting for me to have such a high score, is that not what friends are for? Sharing information, having support, ect? I scored rather high and I was attacking by about 3-5 people with people saying that since I was "bragging" about it in a game, that it showed that I was actually stupid. Then someone asked for the link, however this test was taken at a psychtriast and counseling appointment, so I did not have the link or whatever program it was that used or whatever. And someone says "They just scored you high because they want you to feel better about yourself because you are actually stupid." A few other things like this was said as well, but you get the picture.
So in summary, I am sick of it. There is just way too much damaging issues here on this server for me. This was supposed to be fun, make friends, have fun, used as a coping technique for mental illness to help deal with how bad of shape I am in mentally, but I am starting to hate the server because there is just so much wrong with it. Yes, I like my friends, I care greatly for them that I have on here. And yes, the game itself is fun, but the issue is overriding the good here. I am sick of crying pretty much every day over this shit. I do not deserve it at all, and I am not going to put up with this bullshit anymore. I'm done.
I will stick around for a little longer just to make sure I say goodbye to all the people who do care about me and make sure to get their discord contact information so we can remain friends, but that is the only reason I will be staying for a while. Probably will quit on June. I have given up the giveaway as well because what is the point anymore. I have lost my care for this. Enough is enough.
If you think this is attention seeking or whatever, Fine, I do not really care. I know myself that it s not attention and simply informing people what has happened. I just want it to end, that is all. I do not want your sympathy and crap, I just want the people I love to undersand and that is it. So if this gets me in trouble, whatever. It will just be another stupid punishment for expressing myself like humans do. I give up.
1: Biased Staff: I have been here for a year now. It seems to me that choosing who is staff and who is not is very messed up, I have absolutely no idea what kind of system it is because it does not make sense to me at all, the reason I say this is because I have applied three times over the course of this year that I have been around, The first time was accepted during just looking at logs and stuff it was denied, first time the reason was things about activit and knowledge. The only requirement I did not meet when I very first replied was the forum post count. However that did not mean I was not active on the forums and did not look at things and check things out. No, It simply meant usually someone else had posted a response that was needed already, so what good would it had been for me to make another post saying the same thing? And as far as the knowledge goes I know very much about the server due to experience and looking at the rules and guidelines, however if I did not know something, why is it a issue for me not knowing just a few things here and there. Is it not reasonable for me to just simply learn myself when that happens as staff so I can improve my help as staff? This made no sense to me.
2nd app: Same thing, even had all the forum posts this time, and had been doing everything that the tips the admin or whatever had given me in the first place, how can I do something that I am already doing? How does this make any sense?
3rd app: Same generic copy and post. I am active. I am mature. I have knowledge, but the one thing which was brought up by Aloro was that for the forum activity posts, games thread did not count towards this post and to him/her this showed lack of knowledge, but let me point out why this is completely wrong. In the rules and guidelines, it does not say ANYWHERE about what threads had to be responded to or not, it only told us the forum count we needed. How is this my fault exactly?
So, that is that reason, now here is another thing that I have noticed about the people who get staff. And I have seen this happened more than once. So ok, I am very active in the game, and people see me around every single day. Yet, I am denied for "activity" and then I have seen people come into olympus with a staff title, and I have never seen them before at all in my entire year of being here. Where the hell did they come from?
Second Reason: Unfair warning punishments. In my opinion the three warnings that I have are pretty unfair to be honest. First warning was done by slime. I was in a rough spot, yes, I was simply telling my friends about a situation that was going on, because my friends wanted to support me, and I was in no way harming anyone else by simply talking to my friends, how am I doing something wrong simply by speaking to my friends that support me? I was not harming anyone else at all, and if maybe someone did not like what they saw and lash out or whatever else, again, how is that my fault? I'm not forcing you to listen to, I am not speaking to you, so what is the issue? Why was I told to stop and then warned? Especially since this was on a day where we were having bot spam issues and the chat was very active and was almost impossible to keep up with everything said.
Second warning: _3g_ did this one. Me, myself, and bearhugs was just playing around. However those two got kind of vulgar, talking about well some certain things that I will not repeat with, however I messed along in a different way, I did not say a word that could be considered dirty unless someone has a dirty mine to begin with. Third: Hallowqueen did this one. The other day someone attacked me and asked if I felt good/better now that I got to hurt someone.. This bothered me greatly because I had done no such thing to anyone, and so I stood up for myself and asked them why they said that and how dare they, what gave them that right? Because I was very confused and wanting to know if I had done something that thought was wrong and I wanted to either explain myself or apologize if it came off the wrong way. Then another person called me a "special snowflake" simply for asking what was going on. So then I asked that person what was the need for that. Well Hallowqueen said to drop it. However I did not start anything at all. So isn't it more reasonable for them to be told to drop it when all I was doing was trying to find out why it happened because there was no reason, yet low and behold, I am the one warned. This is beyond unfair and madness.
Third reason: Glitches, and I mean very game breaking glitches. In season one, I lost about 4 sellwands due to a glitch where if you moved the item in your inventory somewhere else, or even placed it in a chest, it would disappear for absolutely no reason that I can figure out. It also happened to a few of my picks last season. At that point in time I was told that there was nothing that could be done about it. Now, season 2, this issue is STILL not resolved. I have lost 3 very high enchanted shovels. and three very valuable picks. One pick was replaced recently, only for just a bit earlier today to have the same damned glitch happen again out of the blue. This is a severe issue, and I doubt that the staff want to refund this again and "waste their time" and it is also exhausting to me to have to keep making tickets for this and staff having an entire year to figure out this issue and haven't.
Fourth reason: Things are becoming severely toxic. This week alone I have been attacked and targetted atleast five times with no reason behind. From someone calling me a retarded bitch, to shut up, simply for asking "what' when I misheard them or was wanting clarity. So I let them know that this is what causes me to feel suicidal and bad, and also let people know I had to just step out because I was crying, this was NOT attention seeking, this was my way of saying to the people that do care about me and hopefully to the attacker that might not realize the damage they are doing to please stop.
After that one of the persons friends said that the person was quitting/leaving, and I simply said "Good" and this was not in a violent or hateful manner, it simply meant they were being very damaging and it was for the best they not cause more upset. So their friend decides to tell me not to be celebrating because the person was going to kill themselves because of me.
Next: I had someone asked me if I felt better now that I had hurt someone else and this is also about the warning that I mentioned above, so simply read that to know what happeneed here.
Next: Earlier today I was talking to a friend about an IQ test I had, I was just sharing it with my friend because I thought it was interesting for me to have such a high score, is that not what friends are for? Sharing information, having support, ect? I scored rather high and I was attacking by about 3-5 people with people saying that since I was "bragging" about it in a game, that it showed that I was actually stupid. Then someone asked for the link, however this test was taken at a psychtriast and counseling appointment, so I did not have the link or whatever program it was that used or whatever. And someone says "They just scored you high because they want you to feel better about yourself because you are actually stupid." A few other things like this was said as well, but you get the picture.
So in summary, I am sick of it. There is just way too much damaging issues here on this server for me. This was supposed to be fun, make friends, have fun, used as a coping technique for mental illness to help deal with how bad of shape I am in mentally, but I am starting to hate the server because there is just so much wrong with it. Yes, I like my friends, I care greatly for them that I have on here. And yes, the game itself is fun, but the issue is overriding the good here. I am sick of crying pretty much every day over this shit. I do not deserve it at all, and I am not going to put up with this bullshit anymore. I'm done.
I will stick around for a little longer just to make sure I say goodbye to all the people who do care about me and make sure to get their discord contact information so we can remain friends, but that is the only reason I will be staying for a while. Probably will quit on June. I have given up the giveaway as well because what is the point anymore. I have lost my care for this. Enough is enough.
If you think this is attention seeking or whatever, Fine, I do not really care. I know myself that it s not attention and simply informing people what has happened. I just want it to end, that is all. I do not want your sympathy and crap, I just want the people I love to undersand and that is it. So if this gets me in trouble, whatever. It will just be another stupid punishment for expressing myself like humans do. I give up.
